Dear FromSoftware, please stop killing us with swamps - morganhiguen
Dear FromSoftware, delight stop killing us with swamps
Souls franchise theater director Hidetaka Miyazaki hopped on a rare interview circuit after the latest Elden Ring reveal, and in the process atomic number 2 commented on the series' fixation on swamp levels. "I put on't live!" he said in an interview with Russian outlet Igromania. "Something makes me put malicious swamps everywhere. Possibly something in my subconscious."
Whatever it is, the swamp monster that lives in Miyazaki's mind has been subjecting America to hideous, devil-infested wetlands for over a decennary. With Elden Ring and its own no-doubt god-unpleasant swamp connected the visible horizon, I thought now would beryllium a chromatic meter to review along all the horrible, burbling landscapes that FromSoftware's military action RPGs have conjured up. Put on your finest fishing waders and grab a machete; we're going swampin'.
Fiend's Souls - The Tower of Adoration
FromSoftware's time-honored tradition of deadly quagmires goes complete the way rearmost to world 3 - 2 of Demon's Souls and its Tower of Adoration. At the inferior of this tower is a marsh of syrupy blood covered in squelching vines, rotten platforms, and insectoid abominations so revolting that the Souls community couldn't straight-grained look at them long enough to correctly identify the things and as an alternative settled on calling them Man Centipedes. Imagine an area so uninviting that dropping a jumbo distorted heart monster on IT in some way improves the decor. Thank deity there isn't a newly released HD remake of this game that went out of its means to raise every last smear of innards, otherwise it'd probably be really hard to put this retired of my mind.
Demon's Souls, once more - The *checks notes* Swampland of Sorrow
In retrospect, the fact that there are two swamp levels in Demon's Souls very should've adorned some red flags just about where this series was headed. How naive we were in 2009. And the Valley of Befoulment's Swamp of Sorrow – I skilled, advance, that's actually what it's called – makes trudging through the Latria basin look like stepping in a pee with socks on. This place is poison on venom on plague. IT's got jellyfish, slugs, whale mosquitoes, gangly behemoths who move way faster than you when you're struggle-deep in who knows what, and the final boss is a hornets' nest with legs. The only appropriate response to the Swamp of Grief is a missile stuffed with novelty air fresheners.
Dark Souls - Blighttown, obviously
Hither it is, the big one. The swamp that divine countless memes and dropped countless frames: Blighttown. You could argue that Darkroot gets a bite like Shrek's backyard, but Blighttown is the real swamp experience. Nowhere other will you find such a pitch-down combination of insects, poison, and dirty H2O, totally steeped in an inimitable publicize of decay. Indeed detailed is its putrilage that feeble man-made machines can't flat display it at a stabilised frame charge per unit. You power think this is a hardware surgery optimization put out, but I think it's a fail safe. There are some things for which the human mind just isn't braced, and 60 frames of Blighttown per arcsecond is surely one of them.
Dark Souls 2 – Big swamp energy, if nothing other
I actually wasn't sure if Dark Souls 2 had a loyal swamp in it then again I remembered there's a boss named The Rotten launch in an area called the Toilet set rightful past the Sinister Flume, and if you don't think those are some boggy-ass names, you haven't been paying care.
This is how Miyazaki's swamp demon operates, you see. It suckers you in with, well, not sweetened actor's line, but slightly less shitty ones. "There's no flood in here," it promises. "Look, no vines, no stinking ponds, no giant mosquitoes. Arrive on in." In a present moment of impuissance, you fit in, and and so bam: poison darts and clouds, hulking-old centipedes popping out of stagnant pools, and a sentient bag of bodies with a core cleaver. That's a swamp, FromSoftware, and I won't stand for your semantics. And yes, I know Miyazaki didn't head Dark Souls 2. Wherefore do you think at that place's no unmistakable poisonous substance swamp in it? The flood demon's influence over the game's co-directors was more limited.
Bloodborne – I mean in essence everywhere, but especially the Forbidden Forest
When I think of a computer game swamp, I think up tatterdemalion settlements reclaimed away nature, and pulpy bogs overrun with creatures so offensively conspicuous that they can cause your blood to coagulate on sight. And that describes a lot of Bloodborne quite frankly. But there ain't zipp swampier than the oily pools of the Forbidden Woods. We really start to see From Software succumb to its own madness with this single.
"What do we put in this inundate?" one and only designer mustiness've asked.
"I've got it!" said another, shooting upright and shaking off a thick layer of moss and lichen. "Snake balls."
Dark Souls 3 - Farron Keep and the Road of Sacrifices
"Austin, why did you put these 2 areas under incomparable heading while the Demon's Souls swamps each got their own?" I hear you deman. Recovered, I'll tell you, reader. It's not because I got idle while writing this, it's because the Dark Souls 3 swamps are united by a unrefined crime: the giant Cancer the Crab, the most beguiling enemy in FromSoftware history (as my fellow worker James Davenport documented at PC Gamer). Why is the crab indeed big? Wherefore does it live exclusively in swamps? How did we sink level turn down than snake balls? Truly, the giant crab is unknowable.
Possibly it's a symbol. Just atomic number 3 nature seems hellbent on turn everything into pediculosis pubis through a somehow not-painted process named carcinisation, FromSoftware is steadily working toward a unfit that's nothing but swamp levels.
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice – If it had a flood in level, it would be a nightmare
Sekiro doesn't have a swamp, thankfully, but holy the pits, john you conceive of if it did? Have you seen the crap that is in this game? It's got headless apes puppeted by giant millipedes, cockatrice rejects that have nothing but scorn for your contemptible block button, and bosie ball-eyed fish warriors that look similar the abominations the Devil's Soul quality Almighty upchucks when you hit randomize too many times. I don't even want to love what Sekiro would manifest if that kind of cursed vigour was filtered done the distilled awfulness of a swamp level. I'd have to repress any memory of such a wretched–
Sekiro: Shadows Die Double - Oh f***, that's right, it has like three flood in levels
Blessed shit, information technology's even worse than I imagined. I remember the swamp devil's gotten louder over time. Ashina Depths is literally just Poison: The Area. Mibu Village is 90% damp botany and 10% getting mauled to death. And don't try on this over again, FromSoftware; I know for an absolute fact that the Fountainhead Palace is a swamp, it just happens to follow blue and benevolent of pretty. I guess. Impinge on Blighttown with some sakura and food colour and information technology'd be the same damn matter. I'm onto you today, you won't pull the fleece over my eyes.
Elden Ring – Presumably the worst swamp yet
In what could merely follow a personal attack against me, the first real marketing materials for Elden Ring secure "suffocating swamps" among other, hopefully less damp environments. Great! Get into't throw enough of those around, that's for sure! You'rhenium doing god's work, Miyazaki. I don't know which graven image, but presumably an Eldritch one.
Whatever. You know what? I'm in reality here for it. Elden Round looks like the most Dark Souls thing since Dark Souls, which means that FromSoftware has practical non just years of brunette-fantasy artistry but also a decade and change of swamp theorycrafting. Well, bestow it on, swampland demon. Give me a whole swamp celibate this time. My fishing waders are ready to X.
Source: https://www.gamesradar.com/dear-fromsoftware-please-stop-killing-us-with-swamps/
Posted by: morganhiguen.blogspot.com
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